Shilpa

I met Shilpa 7 years back at UK 329. I was a very different person back then, very old school, pushy to the extent of choking my dear ones (coz I believed I have their best interests in heart) & always ready to judge people and not even able to see that I was missing out on knowing some wonderful people in my life, just because I was always ready with my checklist that people had to pass through before I even give them an opportunity. I am a very different person from that now and Shilpa is one of those who contributed to this change in me, without even knowing that she did so.

I remember the day I was first introduced to Shilpa, full of my judgmental views, I immediately casted her off to be no good of a trainer. She appeared too casual to be a serious process trainer that I was told she was. And then the next day she did another thing to make my views even stronger that she was no good, she repeatedly cut off my friend mid-sentence!!! I mean, how dare she do that to a friend of mine and that too being a trainer??? Isn't she supposed to be patient enough to listen to all her trainees to be a good trainer? That was it, I decided I DO NOT LIKE  this female & I never will.

With a few more days into our training I realized to my shock that Shilpa indeed was not only good at handling the most notorious of the training batches I have been a part of but she was also good at training such young and restless and she always kept her promise of getting back with the answers if she didn't know something when asked.  But me being the stubborn me, I said to myself “So what if she is a good trainer? She is not a good person. She makes my friend uncomfortable by not allowing her to talk every time the poor soul wants to show off her knowledge. But in a few days the same poor soul turned out to be more forgiving of Shilpa than I was and she was in fact trying to get to know Shilpa better and get friendly to her. But well I had to stand on my judgment so I still did not like her.

A week down the line Shilpa being Shilpa, decided to initiate a more comfortable trainer – trainee relationship, even if I was not ready to do it. She started to talk, tried to get me to open up and earn my trust, which she managed to do in the end with help of my friend conspiring against me (The same one I hated Shilpa for)

Once the ice was broken, I was more open to accept Shilpa as a person and as a friend. I actually started to enjoy her company, our conversations together and pouring our hearts out with each other. We grew so close that we were no more a Trainer & a Trainee but Friends. In true sense. We had been through a couple of weird difficult situations together which only strengthened our friendship better. We became friends who had to catch up every day in person or over the phone and fill in each other with day’s activity.

The way my relationship and comfort levels changed with Shilpa, it made me realize how wrong it was of me to be judging people as it only makes me loose out a few gem of people in my life. From that time in my life I completely stopped judging people basis their first impression on me. In fact I do not have a concept of “First Impressions” in my life any more. I no more decide on a person’s impression on me until I know the person better. I now give chance to myself to get to know people.

The second thing that I learnt from Shilpa is all the more important for me as it made me become a better person and the best part is that she doesn't even know she helped me with it.

It was during one of the most disturbing and tipsy phase in HER life. She had a major shift happening in her life, and made certain decisions basis her situation. I still remember the day she shared with me about this decision she took because it made her happy in that difficult time, I must have cried a bucket full while listening to her and fortunately with all those tears some of my useless conservative thinking also washed out of my system.

Like I said I was very old school back then and Shilpa’s decision wouldn't have gone down well with that old me, yet somehow, feeling her pain and seeing her go through it all made me just realize “Who am I to decide what she does is wrong or right? I may have the best of her interests in heart but I haven’t lived her life. I may have tried to understand her pain but I haven’t suffered it as she did.” And that made me accept her decision with open heart (despite me old school thinking) and made me accept that fact that I am no one to decide what/ how one should do with their life. It has to be their decision as it is their life. If I have their best interests in heart, I need to support them unconditionally. I now give space in my relationships.

Every time I think of these two most important and positive changes Shilpa brought into my life, my lips curve into a smile full of gratitude J J

She’s made my pre-existing belief stronger that “every person I meet in my life has a lesson to teach me”   J